Forgive and Forget
by Divinion
Summary: 2x One-shot. Natsu has come to apologise to Gray for a fight that's gone too far, and begins to realise their friendship is far less stable than it may have seemed / Gray is forced to watch over Natsu after a fight that's gone too far, but Natsu begins to realise his friend is far less stable than he may have seemed
1. Forgive

**Hey Fairy Tail Fans!**

 **This one-shot has now turned into 2x One-Shot! Previously named 'Forgiveness'.**

 **Part 1, Natsu vs Gray. Part 2, Gray vs Natsu.** **The exact same situation, just the other way around, with very different consequences!**

* * *

Natsu looked out of the window towards the sky, watching the clouds pass over the sinking sun. He tried to work out what time it was just from the way the sky was turning red, refusing to look at the clock for at least another hour. Time was shifting painfully slowly in the unfamiliar surroundings, and watching the time tick by would only make it slower. He had promised himself that he would be here until at least daybreak, and that promise had been passed onto Erza, which was even more terrifying than his own disappointment. He was regretting taking on this 'shift', but the regret of the day was burning through him deeper. He wanted to concentrate on neither emotion, watching the birds slip across the horizon and wishing the time could pass quickly. He sank deeper into the sofa, folding his arms across his chest in boredom and complaining in his head at the ice mage's strange furniture. Everything just seemed strangely different to what he had been used to, but then he had to remind himself that while Gray had spent the last ten years in Fairy Tail, previously he had come from a foreign land. It was easily forgotten, and Natsu had never once thought of him as an outsider for it, but he had been surprised to have walked into such a bizarre reminder. Though he hated to admit it, this sofa was oddly comfortable. There would definitely not be room for something like this in the dragon slayer's trashed home.

The bedroom door slid open, and the ice mage stepped out. His hand rested on the back of his head, feeling the crisp white bandages pushing down his black hair. He winced at pain to himself, looking up and almost jumping back. "Natsu what are you doing in my house?!" he asked suddenly, taking a small step back. His headache screamed out painfully at the sudden surprise and he winced again, his hand feeling where the bandages began and ended.

"Hi!" Natsu began cheerfully, trying to somehow get himself out of the ridiculously low sofa. It was a little less classy than he'd expected but he was able to bounce onto his feet, awkwardly scratching the back of his own head. "Uh… how are you?" he offered with an awkward grin.

Gray narrowed his eyes. "In pain. Wondering why you're in my house," he growled, more irritable than usual from both the pain and the sudden unwelcome visitor. He could feel as he spoke in his low voice the trembling through his chest brought new pains, an ache spreading across every muscle and stabbing him through his chest and head. Though he could feel a tightness across his abs there were no bandages there, at least.

Natsu looked at him, his heart racing a little faster as he saw the pain across his friend's face. The nagging inside of him grew, a somewhat new and confusing emotion. "I was checking up on you. And I wanted to say I'm sorry."

The words caught Gray off-guard. They certainly weren't words that he was used to the dragon slayer saying, or at least not ones that he usually said with any real meaning. He read his face quickly, seeing a hint of guilt hidden behind his joking demeanour, an emotion that, while uneasy with Natsu, was a demon Gray knew all too well. "What did you _do_?" he asked him, piercing straight through Natsu's guilt. He had neither the patience nor the consciousness through the stabbing pain to deal with Natsu trying to fumble through an apology without explanation.

"Ok, first of all, it was an _accident_!" Natsu started quickly, defensively building himself up for an attack. The words rung in his head, however, remembering whispering them when he thought that something truly terrible had happened. He could hear the memory of whispering them over and over, as if they were a prayer. He turned away, his voice softening. "It was an accident…"

Gray narrowed his eyes at Natsu, trying to see through the fog in his mind. The pain in his head gave a sudden twist, reminding him that it was there. "This was you?" he asked him, both disappointed in himself for 'losing' and that Natsu had caused him such real damage. As he shouted out his lungs protested, and he gritted his teeth tightly. "What the hell did you do, flame brain?"

Natsu saw his sudden flinch of pain and mistook it for instant anger, bracing himself for the attack that Gray was going to launch at him. He had made a promise to himself, to Gray, and to Erza, that he wouldn't hit him again. Knowing their relationship, it would take all of his willpower, and he wasn't only bracing himself to take the hit but to not return it. "Uh, you remember we were fighting, right?" he asked carefully. Looking at the bandages on his friend's head he realised that he may not have remembered much. "Oh, uh, yeah, well, I kind of sent you into the ocean. But then you knocked yourself out on the lamppost on the way, so, yeah…"

Gray continued to grit his teeth. That certainly explained the shooting pain across the back of his head. "What the fuck, Natsu?"

"I wasn't exactly _aiming_!" he admitted. "Well, maybe I was aiming a little, but I didn't expect you to be such a block head and knock yourself out on it," he shrugged his shoulders, regretting now that he had ever come to check on his friend in the first place. He should have listened to Erza and Lucy when they warned him that he would be the worst person to watch over him, but Natsu had been determined to make what was wrong right. Gray had never been an enemy, and it was his duty to make sure that his mistakes were corrected.

Gray shook his head, though instantly regretted it as the dull ache complained at his movements. He leaned against the doorway, at least now having half an explanation. "So my chest? That was you too?" he questioned, feeling his breathing tearing painfully through his lungs.

"That one you can blame Erza for," Natsu told him, remembering just how violent the redhead had been. "Also me. You should probably blame me for that one more, since I was the one that, you know, chucked you in the middle of the ocean unconscious," he said, very aware that he was rambling. Explaining things without his fists had never been one of his strong suits, especially not to the ice wizard. The blank look on Gray's face told him that he was making even less sense than he had hoped. "We had to revive you. Wendy said she fixed you up, though…" He explained reluctantly.

Gray's eyes softened. Now he finally understood not only the pain but the look in Natsu's eyes, the reason why he was standing in his living room and trying to make his way through what was quite possibly the worst apology of all time. He couldn't say that he had any anger inside of him, however, and if anything, he only felt sorrier for the pink haired wizard hearing what had happened. "I see," he said slowly, pushing himself off the doorframe and making his way across his living room. "Sit down, Natsu…" he said softly, scratching his bandages gingerly.

Natsu looked at him blankly.

Gray refrained from rolling his eyes. "Natsu, you're in my house, I'm being a host. Sit down," he ordered him as he walked into the kitchen and pulled across a metal kettle onto the stove. He heard the collapse of the dragon slayer eventually falling back into the sofa and smiled gently to himself, knowing that the simple apology would have been difficult for Natsu. He had to admit to himself he wasn't sure if he would have had the courage to do the same himself if the situation had been reversed. "I'm surprised you knew where I lived," he commented gently, careful not to raise his voice and invite the pain back in.

Natsu looked back at him, curiously taking in his kitchen. "I didn't. Erza told me," he replied calmly.

"Ah, of course," Gray nodded slowly as he poured the boiling water into two cups, realising that explanation made the most sense. Natsu had already mentioned that Erza had been with him, and it did bring a little flicker of humour to Gray's eyes as he imagined the armoured wizard yelling at Natsu over this. He walked back through slowly, placing one of the mugs of tea into the dragon slayer's hands as he placed his own down to cool.

Natsu held the boiling water in his hands, surprised that he had been so casually offered the hospitality. It wasn't that he hadn't trusted his friend or thought he was particularly rude (apart from _certain_ habits) but it seemed bizarrely normal to have taken a drink of tea from him while sitting in his chair. There was something about Gray that made him feel awkward too, realising that while he was clearly suffering there had been none of the shock that he had expected. He'd heard sometimes things like that could take some time to sink in, and worried that in a few moments he would suddenly freak out. "Uh, you do realise what almost happened, don't you? You pretty much died, you know," he pried, not-so-carefully.

Gray's eyes unfocussed, letting the numbing aches wash over him. "Not the first time…" he said slowly. He tilted his head back, realising from the look on Natsu's face that he had failed to tell his companion of the previous times. He had found no reason to explain most of the details of the pains of his life to Natsu, or to anyone, but moments like this made him feel like an enigma of Fairy Tail, a distant shadow that was barely there. From day to day he changed his mind on how he felt about this. Sometimes he found himself wishing that he had someone beside him, someone that could share the torment and the emotional scars he'd picked up from both his childhood and Fairy Tail years, but more commonly he relished in knowing that there was little of him for anyone onto cling to and his inner darkness could not spread and infect more lives with unhappiness. He looked away, knowing that wasn't a conversation he wanted to have right now. Natsu's guilt had driven him here, and it would drive their conversation. "I'm not mad," he said firstly, knowing that these were the words that Natsu would need to hear first. In all of his years of guilt he knew the most basic of forgiveness went a long way. "No harm done."

Natsu swallowed a big gulp of the rich tea. Even the _tea_ was different, he realised after he had taken the sip and was wondering how he could tactfully get rid of the rest. He nodded quickly.

Gray smirked and pretended not to notice as he carried on. "The truth is, I think we both knew that something like this was going to happen one day…" he continued, reaching over to the counter and taking the cooling drink in his hands and letting the warm smell soften his aching chest. "We're both much stronger than we used to be. We can't just expect to hit each other and get away with nothing more than bruises anymore," he explained, his voice steady and calming.

"Well, I dunno about you and your weak-ass punches but that's not exactly anything new?"

Gray glared.

Natsu folded his arms and rolled his eyes back. "I'm not an idiot. It's not like I'm going to just cast a fire roar at you," he blurted out, trying to ignore all sentimentality Gray was adding to the conversation.

Gray continued to frown. "You did _last week_."

"That wasn't _at_ you!" Natsu tried to defend himself.

A small smile appeared on Gray's face, realising that this was an argument that could go on for quite some time. There was something oddly comforting to it, that made the awkward situation in front of them just that much easier to deal with. Though some would question just how healthy it was for the two to fight in this way, for the pair that had always ended in fistfights it was somehow easier to manage than nice words. "Natsu, you know what I'm saying. And if you're actually _sorry_ , and not just sorry that your actions almost killed me, then I think you must understand too. One day we're probably going to end up killing each other if we keep this up."

His words dropped the room into an awkward silence. Natsu hung onto his mug, despite the fact that it tasted foul he needed the warmth running through his hands now. The entire room was a completely new experience for him and there was something in that which made him afraid even more than the sombre warning. This was the longest conversation that he'd ever had in all of the years of knowing Gray, and most of this had been spent bickering like an old married couple. There was only a very select few in Fairy Tail that he would trust his life with over Gray, and most of them would only be to save face if he was asked to choose the ice wizard. A few short years ago they had done everything to stay out of each other's way, but nowadays even when they weren't on a mission or fighting they were rarely apart from each other. And all of this without even stepping within these four walls. An entire relationship built on fighting was either fading away or going to end in disaster. All of his trust was placed on a man that he felt he was only just meeting for the first time.

Gray stood with a groan, twisting his back and trying to unknot the aches as he stepped across the room. He pulled open the cabinet in the far side, slipping two glasses between his fingers and taking a bottle with his free hand. With his elbow he closed the cabinet once more, putting the glasses down on the table to pour and offer his friend one. He knew the fiery liquid would be far more to the dragon slayer's tastes, he thought with a smile as he saw Natsu's eyes light up a little, and the warmth would do him some good as well. Where healthy relationships broke down, alcohol would always be there to cover the void, he thought to himself as he slipped back into his seat and pulled up his legs. "It's actually not so bad having some company other than Juvia…" he admitted into his drink.

Natsu's eyes went a little wider, almost spitting out his drink. "You and Juvia…? Here…?"

Gray gave him a dark glare, realising that there was a lot that Natsu just didn't pick up on. The dragon slayer had always seemed kind to the water wizard, and always seemed to be offering his help whenever she struggled to find her 'Gray-sama'. Gray couldn't be certain just how much of that was Natsu's naivety and how much was him genuinely trying to annoy the ice mage. "She refuses to leave, and its creepy having her hang outside all night…" he said, absently looking out of the window to the street below, jus in case the rain woman had crept her way back towards his house.

Natsu couldn't hold back from laughing, looking over Gray's shoulder to see if he could catch a glimpse of the obsessed wizard. "That's pretty cold," he told him, sipping on the drink. "She's not that bad," he shrugged, partly to see Gray's reaction.

Gray raised his eyebrow, both at the pun and the statement. It was incredibly easy for Natsu to say such things when he didn't have to be by her side every hour of every day. It wouldn't be right to say that Gray didn't on the odd occasion enjoy her company, but he just wished that she would be content in the shady façade he gave to the rest of the guild. "No, she's not a bad person," he admitted eventually. He truly did believe that, even from the first day that she joined Fairy Tail he could see that she had a kind heart. He would, despite everything, consider her as one of his closest friends in those brief moments she would seem rational. "If she wasn't so needy she'd probably actually be cute… But if you tell her than then I will personally throw _you_ in the ocean and tie an ice block to your feet."

"Doesn't ice float?"

"Shut up. That's why it's on your feet, not your head."

Natsu chuckled into his drink, tipping back the last of his first glass. He had to admit he'd been drinking it quickly, but now he barely felt as if he needed it. The strange room, the first real conversation with his friend for years, and the panicked swim had all left him shaken, however, but at least with the drink his nerves were calmer than they had been. It was the silences that stung. The awkward moments that seemed to last for a lifetime, even with the warming ruby liquid. He took the bottle back from the table, helping himself to a taller glass than before and not even looking to see if Gray was judging him. He'd buy him another one, probably… maybe. Now he just wished that he'd dragged Happy along with him to come up with something ridiculously random to say.

"So how long was I gone?" Gray asked eventually.

Natsu almost choked on his second drink. It burned uncomfortably as it ran down his windpipe, shocking him and taking a few seconds to even begin to think about how to answer that question. "Uh, I'm not sure…" he admitted, remembering pulling Gray from the water and screaming for his friends as he felt the blood in his hands. The salt water had made the red liquid run right down his arms, his head-wound filling him with terror even before he'd realised he hadn't been breathing. "It was all a blur, really," he said shrugging, wishing that was more true than it actually was.

"Mmm…" Gray murmured slowly, dropping ice cubes into his drink and leaning over to tap Natsu's drink and cool it gently.

"You OK?" Natsu asked him hesitantly, not sure how he would have taken something like that. He knew how it had felt to watch, knew the pain that it had caused his friends and the guilt that was tearing his body from the inside, but the dark look on Gray's face was nearly unreadable.

Gray nodded slowly, trying not to think too hard about the question. "I don't think I should sleep tonight," he thought out loud as he put his hand to his head once again. "Will you help keep me awake?" he asked Natsu.

Natsu looked a little surprised by the request but nodded dumbly. He didn't want to say out loud that he'd forgotten whether you were meant to stay awake with a head injury or go to sleep. Since the others had left him with Gray sleeping off the day's injuries he'd simply assumed that he was meant to rest, but Gray also seemed to know what he was talking about. His eyes glanced down at the drink in his friend's hands, realising that it hadn't been touched yet. "You think you should have that?" he asked him cautiously.

Gray looked into the glass, the ice clinking as he saw that it was now mostly frozen in his hands. "Probably not…" he admitted, realising the mistake as soon as Natsu pointed it out.

"Hey, no worries," Natsu said, trying to release himself from the strangely comfortable sofa and almost tripping up yet again as he lunged for Gray's mug. "I'll make you up another tea," he said, running into the kitchen and trying to remember exactly where he had gotten everything.

Gray flinched as he heard crashing and breaking and the odd mumbles that everything was fine. In a horrifying moment he remembered the one time he'd ever been to Natsu and Happy's house, and the complete mess that it had been. Well, a little mess wasn't a bad thing, he tried to tell himself as he took the smallest of sips of the liquor while the dragon slayer was distracted. Everything in moderation, he thought to himself, realising that nights of drinking tea and whiskey could only last for so long between them. He hadn't been lying when he'd said that they would one day end up killing each other, and that to prevent that things had to change. Over the last few years they had taken so many leaps and bounds in their relationship, and he was certain if this had happened when they were both young teens they wouldn't have lasted this long before striking punches at each other. And actually he was starting to enjoy winding his friend up without ending up battered and bruised – well, more bruised. "Erza really this?" he said as he put his hand on his chest wincing.

"Oh yeah!" Natsu called from the kitchen, "She was basically breaking every one of your ribs. I had to rip her off you and do it myself."

Gray lay back a little, knowing that the requip wizard could certainly be a little less than careful. "She's going to kill me, isn't she?" he asked, sudden dread in his voice.

"Ohhh yeah..." Natsu said, desperately trying to damp out the flames that he had caused in his impatience for the kettle to boil on the stove. "Yeah, she said that if either of us fight or do anything like this again blah blah blah threaten threaten threaten."

Gray groaned, but there was a strange sense of comfort that also came from the words. Erza was deeply protective above all else, and he suddenly wanted to go to her and remind her that he was alright. He wanted to thank her for looking out for him, and in turn for looking out for Natsu, even if she had a particularly violent way of doing so. "Typical Erza. I wonder what she would say if she could see us now…" he mused out loud, resting his head against his hand, elbow on the back of the sofa.

"She would probably still have something to punish us over…" he said, finally coming out of the kitchen and making a mental note to try and fix the mess he had created when Gray was finally allowed to sleep. "She said she was coming over tomorrow morning."

"To check on me or to check you haven't burnt down my apartment?" Gray questioned, glancing behind the dragon slayer and genuinely worried for the safety of his kitchen.

"She did mention both, actually," Natsu told him, placing the tea in Gray's hand. Gray flinched at the roasting hot touch, twisting his fingers to creating a cooling balm and eventually able to take the cup within his hands. Even with his magic to cool it slightly it was still incredibly warm and he put it down quickly, worried that the sudden temperature change would crack the ceramic. "Actually I think it was Luce who told me not to burn the place down. Erza who told me not to fight with you. Happy told me if I hit you I'm not allowed to hit you in the head," Natsu continued.

Gray grinned, able to hear each of their pieces of advice clearly in his head as Natsu explained. "I'm surprised Happy isn't here with you..." he commented slowly, realising it was incredibly rare for the dragon slayer to be away from his feline companion, and even rarer for them to spend a night apart.

Natsu took another quick swig of the warming liquid as he sat back down. It was definitely better than the tea. "Ah, yeah. He did offer, but I said it was my fault so I kind of had to do it myself."

"No, you don't," Gray said suddenly, speaking incredibly speaking before Natsu could even consider his words. There was a look in his eyes that was laced in his own memories, speaking to Natsu almost like a teacher would speak to a student. "You don't have to take any mistakes on by yourself, no matter how big or small. That's what Fairy Tail is there for, isn't it?" he said, his voice low and with not the slightest hint of the humour or jest that had been passed before them.

Natsu looked into the drink, thinking that it must have been impossible for Gray to understand exactly how he felt. If he had been a moment too late he wouldn't be in this room now, sharing a drink and speaking to his nakama. If he hadn't noticed his mistake immediately he would be trying to battle his own tears. He gritted his teeth, knowing that this strange foreign feeling was already trying to claw through his mind. It wouldn't last long, he told himself, but while he could hear the ragged breaths and see the bandages on his friend's head, he clutched his drink tighter. How could Gray possibly understand what it was like to almost kill your best friend? He looked up finally, seeing Gray was watching him with the awkward coldness. Natsu had always presumed it was part of who he was, part of his ice magic, but looking at him now he could see that just like Erza wore an armour he protected himself in mystery. Memories of some distant quest suddenly came to mind, recalling a battle-cry confession. He had seen the look in Gray's eyes before, heard the cold tone to his voice. "Your master…" he said slowly, realising just how stupid he must have sounded. Gray hadn't known what it was like to almost kill a friend, but he had known what it was like to be responsible for his master's death.

Gray didn't say anything as he simply leaned forwards and turned more of the whiskey into ice for the fire wizard. His face was unreadable, but in his silence it was clear that he had known exactly what Natsu was talking about, and that it had from been the same memories that his own warnings had come from.

"You've never told me anything about your home…" Natsu said slowly, realising that it may have sounded even more foolish now that he was sat inside of the ice mage's apartment. Although it seemed nice and clean, he could see none of the familiar touches that he cherished about his own home. He could see no pictures, no momentos, nothing that made this apartment in any way recognisable from all of the others on this street. "I don't mean this place, or Fairy Tail. I mean before that."

Gray leaned back again, doing his best not to tense up. "I'm sure being raised by a dragon is far more interesting," he deflected tactfully, but there was also a gleam in his eyes. Though he hadn't realised it before, he was genuinely interested in hearing about Natsu and Igneel. When they were boys Natsu had rushed around the guild, telling anyone with the patience to listen about the huge fire breathing dragon who had taken him in and cared for him as his own. Though most of the guild had laughed and played along, the longer he spoke the longer his words became believed. Gray had wanted to believe them. He had wanted to believe that one day a huge creature could take you on its back and sweep you far away from your old life. Fairy Tail was as close as he ever reached to that dream.

Natsu grinned. "I really can't argue with that," he said, putting down his glass as he could feel the palms of his hands beginning to go cold. "But you're from a completely different country. What's Isvan like?"

"It's not a…" he trailed off, knowing the semantics and geography of the land would just go over Natsu's head. "It's very cold," he said simply, suddenly finding himself tricked into talking about a place he told himself he barely remembered. There would be certain memories that would always remain buried in his mind, that would be with him until the day he died, but the more he spoke the more he realised that there were other memories that had been happier. He had touched the subject of his parents only briefly, but instead of the usual pain that ran through him, as he thought of them he could feel their warmth, remembering the home that they had lived in and not the burning wreckage that they had died in. He spoke about the lay of the land, about his town, and Brago, the small hut where Ur lived and days in the mountain where they had battled the elements naked. Gray broke their no violence rule as Natsu said he'd just thought he was some kind of pervert and hadn't realised there was a reason behind his habit, but the strike had only been light and in jest and they had both laughed about it. In turn Natsu explained how difficult certain things had been to learn from a dragon, and for the first few weeks on his own he had spent trying to communicate with the people around him in the strangest ways. He explained how even now he struggled to write clearly, which was no surprise to Gray, but it was interesting to see how the roots long before their friendship had created the two fierce wizards.

Eventually, despite all of their warnings, the two fell asleep. The sofa was literally too comfortable. In the morning, as Erza ran up the stairs to the apartment she cursed herself for letting the two stay together. She wondered why it was so quiet, why neither of them had come running to the guild yet, and why there was no smell of smoke. It seemed too good to be true. Slowly she knocked, but heard nothing, and opening the door gently she peered over to see the mugs and glasses and a half empty bottle of liquor on the table. On the sofa, the fire and ice wizards slept, surprisingly peaceful, knowing that while there was some way to go, their friendship was far stronger than it had ever been.

* * *

 **Damn I want that sofa haha!**

 **Hope you enjoyed this. Please let me know what you think and feel free to check out my other works. :)**


	2. Forget

**Hey Fairy Tail Fans!**

 **Part 2! Lets rewind and switch places, shall we? I'd like to remind you this is the EXACT same scenario, just that instead of Natsu throwing Gray into the ocean, Natsu is the 'victim'.**

* * *

It was the middle of the night as Natsu woke in his bed, his feline companion purring and curled close to his side. His eyes opened and struggling to grow accustomed to the dim light. He had no intention of moving, his body feeling pinned to the bed and the darkness streaming through the open window luring him back into sleep. The Dragon Slayer's eyes felt heavy, sleep was tempting, but already his senses were beginning to return. He became aware of the glimpses of shadows across the walls, the touch of soft fur pressed against his arms, the sound of Happy's gentle breathing in and out, the familiar scents of home.

A frown crossed his face as he sat upright. Now that he was wide awake, he was sharply made aware that he also felt pain. It wasn't the pain of slashed skin, burns, cuts or bruises, although he had many of those as well, the most noticeable of which came from the crisp white bandages across his head. Instead, the worst pain came from something inside of him, something that couldn't be pointed to or explained easily by the Dragon Slayer. He felt exhaustion trying to pull him back into the bed and a burning from deep inside his lungs, dulling his waking senses and clawing his breathing. As he looked down at the exceed, he wanted nothing more than to twist himself into a ball around him and sleep for another age, but something held him back. There was an unpleasant smell, one that forced his eyes to stay open and dragged him from his bed. Carefully, he avoided disturbing Happy as he clambered through the darkness and net of sweaty sheets, almost toppling onto the ground as his head began to spin. His hand was on his forehead, trying to force the pounding to calm long enough to make his way through the shadows to the confusing and disappointing combination of scents.

He wandered slowly through his home, using his fingers to guide his way through the dark and realising that he had no idea how he had got here. There were missing memories, and he had the grogginess of sleeping for hours even as he wanted to claw his way back to bed. Knowing he had company kept him walking forwards, though he had no idea why the familiar presence would be in his home. The more his awake he became, the more he began to realise how strange the entire situation was.

"I thought you'd quit," Natsu commented, finally reaching the open door.

A sigh escaped Gray's lips as he leaned back against the doorframe, his lost breath quickly replaced with the cigarette smoke as he took a long drag. Hearing the Dragon Slayer's voice, he turned, gritting his teeth as he expelled more foul-smelling air. "I had," he admitted, looking at the burning paper without a hint of guilt in his expression in his return to the poisonous addiction. "Good to see you're finally awake, Sleeping Beauty," he smirked to himself, taking another drag. "Is Happy around?"

Natsu scrunched up his nose, making no secret of his distaste for the re-emerged habit. Gray knew just how much the scent irritated the sensitive Dragon Slayer's nose and Natsu wondered if it had been what had woken him at this ungodly hour. It had at least been what had kept him awake. "He's asleep," he said, hoping that was still the case while he was wrapped tightly within the sheets Natsu had had to struggle to escape from. If he hadn't heard – and smelt – the Ice Maker outside, he would have stayed quietly lying in the dark beside him now, and his new confusion and pain made him bitter. "What I don't get is why _you're_ around," he questioned.

Gray stubbed out the last of the cigarette, a lazy smile across his face as he tilted his head questioningly to Natsu. " _That's_ what you don't get? Not the bandages? Not how you got here?"

Natsu frowned, fairly certain Gray was purposefully being patronising. He had questions, a million questions, but most of them he had assumed would come to light once the banging in his head had subsided long enough for him to think again. "I'm guessing they're related."

The Ice Maker pushed himself from the doorframe, looking up at the moon still high in the sky, weighing his options before reluctantly stepping back inside before he could be told he wasn't invited. "Yeah, I guess so," he said eventually with a shrug, finally realising that he'd been quiet for long enough to draw a confused look from Natsu.

The non-answer irritated Natsu to no end, storming past him and ready to shout. Now that Gray had confirmed there was at least some connection, he began to draw upon missing pieces of the puzzle. He had already felt the bandage on his head and the ache that came from within, but it was the pain in his chest that was unlike anything he'd felt before. His heavier, angrier breathing tore through his lungs painfully. His memories were a blur, but for every piece starting to slip through the darkness the feeling grew that they were kept back by some unseen force. "So what the hell happened?" he snapped impatiently.

Gray tried to act disinterested. If Natsu was in a better frame of mind, he may have noticed just how poor his imitation was. "What's the last thing you remember?" he asked, slipping back into the one seat he had been able to clear enough to sit comfortably on: Natsu's house truly was a mess.

Natsu frowned, feeling as if the ice wizard was still avoiding the question. "We were on Ario Beach," he said as he folded his arms defensively over his chest, as if that much was obvious. "Training."

"Fighting," Gray corrected swiftly. They might have lied to everyone else to the purpose of their disappearance, but both of them knew that there was little more objective than prove their strength against one another. A great excuse to punch one another in the face never went amiss.

Then it struck him. The pain, the missing memories, the feeling that he had been asleep for hours followed by the unfamiliar exhaustion: He'd been knocked unconscious. Natsu's eyes went wide, suddenly realising what must have happened. "You _won_?" he asked in disbelief, suddenly feeling sick.

Gray's eyes looked up so suddenly he couldn't hide the raw emotion through them. They dazzled, the emotionless glaze slipping for the briefest of moments as he stared back at the Dragon Slayer. Natsu couldn't tell what was felt or what it meant, but it was not the gloating victory that he had expected. As quickly as it appeared, however, it disappeared once more, fading into Gray's usual cold disinterested gaze. "You got unlucky," he explained, his voice low. "One misguided attack and you ended up flying into the water. Which would have been fine if you hadn't knocked yourself out on the way in, idiot," he gritted his teeth sharply, looking away. "Erza and Wendy and Lucy had to drag your ass back and I got stuck babysitting."

Natsu was in shock. Not to the fact that he had been injured, but the fact that he had been beaten. It was painful in more ways than one, feeling the aches beyond that of any normal battle, as if the bruises were piercing him from the inside. Especially his head, which he was in even more disbelief from, adding to his nausea. "You actually beat me," he tried to whisper, finding the words ran through his lungs painfully. His chest suddenly felt like fire, a coughing fit attacking him as he pulled himself to sit on the arm of one of the nearest chairs. Suddenly, he couldn't breathe. He was helpless to the coughing, pushing his hand against his chest and feeling dark bruises against his ribs, adding to his pain until he felt dizzy once more.

Gray's eyes suddenly flicked back to him again, watching him with keen observation for only a few moments before rising back to his feet. His jaw tightened and he turned away quickly, disappearing into the next room.

Natsu couldn't stop himself from coughing, a foul taste on his mouth as he did so. His lungs were burning, his muscles aching and the more he coughed the more certain he felt that more than a couple of his ribs were out of place. Just as he was about to get mad at Gray for disappearing when he was obviously in pain, a glass of water was placed into his hand. He was thirstier than he'd realised, too shocked to question the kind gesture, the red hot pain gasping for water as he quickly took huge gulps. He coughed out half of his first mouthful, but after the third he was once again able to breath, if more heavily than normal. "Tastes like salt," he muttered.

"Yeah, that'll be the half the ocean you got in stuck your lungs," Gray told him matter-of-factly, still standing close by and waiting for the worst of the coughing fit to subside.

It took some time for him to link the words to the pain inside of his chest. For long moments, he could do little but gasp for breath, enduring flickering memories of hearing his name shouted through darkness, feeling cold and drifting between burning pain and tempting numbness. The more he remembered, the further his memories buried themselves away from him, fleeting and leaving him only with antagonising confusion. He swallowed hard, determined that he would remain strong. He had already been beaten by Gray once, he wasn't going to lose face now over something as ridiculous as a cough. "I'll pay you back next time, Ice Block," he finally muttered and shook his head.

Gray, assuming if he was well enough to insult then he was well enough to take care of himself, went back to sit on the remaining seat and stare out of the window. It would be several hours until daybreak, and it could not have gone slower. "Whatever," he said into the night.

Natsu would have started another fight right there if he knew he had the strength. There was something about Gray's absent gaze that irritated the Dragon Slayer more than it should have. Though he would deny it fiercely, more than a few of their fights in the past had simply been to get each other's attention: Natsu's childhood was filled with painful abandonment while Gray prided himself in being a mysterious and distant enigma. Their friendship had always been an uneasy balance, neither understanding or respecting the other's boundaries properly. Fighting had always played an important role and it undoubtedly made their relationship strong, or at the very least close. One of the key factors to their fighting was their equality, however, and as Natsu stared at the victor he didn't only feel his own weakness but also something between their unspoken unity was cracking. "I can't believe you won," he hissed again.

"I didn't win," Gray snapped suddenly.

Natsu looked up, seeing only the back of Gray's head as the Ice Maker continued to stare out of the window. "Huh? But you knocked me out. You won."

"I didn't _win_ ," Gray hissed again, still not turning around to hit his strained words to their correct target. He stood, refusing to look at Natsu the entire time as he stalked across the cluttered living room, heading straight outside and ignoring the questioning looks the Dragon Slayer gave him.

Natsu continued to stare at the door as it slammed shut violently, shaking the entire house. He had no idea what had just happened. He could still hear Gray just outside, hear his short and inexplicably angry breathing turning slower and calmer, but he could also smell that awful scent of smoke rising once more. Replaying the short conversation in his head, he tried desperately to pull on any of the missing memories in the hopes that he could explain the sudden outburst, it was hard to concentrate over his own laboured breaths and dazing pain - and he also became very aware of another movement.

Happy flew straight through the bedroom door, shouting "NATSU!" at the top of his voice.

He hit the Dragon Slayer with such force that he was knocked backwards, his aching ribs taking the brunt of the blow, but Natsu didn't mind. "Happy!" he grinned, holding onto his friend and gladly patting his head.

"I was so scared!" the cat wailed as he buried deeper against Natsu's warm skin. "You weren't breathing and there was so much blood and you didn't wake up for ages!"

"Happy, I'm OK," Natsu grinned confidently, though a little surprised. The scene Happy was briefly describing matched his injuries, but there was so much more fear thrown in his words than the Ice Maker's it barely seemed comparable. His eyes slipped back to the door, wondering just how good a non-Dragon Slayer's hearing was. "What actually happened?" It wasn't that he didn't trust Gray's explanation, there just seemed to be too many loose ends. Gray had a way of explaining something that gave exactly what he felt needed to be said and no more.

The exceed looked up at him, huge droplets of tears in his eyes as he began to talk. "When Gray called us over he was pulling you out of the water. He said you'd hit your head on a lamppost on the way into the ocean and you got knocked out and your head was bleeding lots. But you weren't breathing and Wendy's magic wasn't working!" he said, burying his head deep into him, his tiny paws against the bruised chest. "Erza tried resuscitating you but Gray had to hold her back and Lucy did it instead. We thought she was going to break every one of your ribs!"

"Ah, yeah, she definitely got a few of them…" Natsu winced, realising now where that pain came from. None of Happy's story was any different to what the Ice Maker had described, but somehow Happy's words made much more sense to him and the severity of his injuries. There was only one part that still didn't seem explained. "What about Gray, what's he doing here?" he asked, glancing back to the door.

"Erza made him stay until we knew you were safe," Happy explained, jumping back and taking what was clearly his usual sitting place on the table, as it was the only area clear enough for him to do so. "I told her that I could take care of you, but she said that it was more for him than you, whatever that means. Wait, has he gone again? Erza's going to be so mad!" Happy said, looking around quickly.

Natsu shook his head. "Nah, he's just out smoking."

Happy paused, tilting his head to the side. "I thought he'd quit?"

A frown crossed Natsu's face. "Yeah, so did I," he thought out loud, looking to the door. In fact, he didn't just think, he knew for certain that there hadn't been the smell of lingering smoke for some months now. At first it had been difficult to tell, as Wakaba would never be without a heavy cloud of smoke around him spreading the smell onto anyone within the guild hall. Gray had never explicitly said he'd quit the habit, but the more Natsu and Gray travelled together the clearer it became that the lingering smell came from the Ice Maker. Natsu had no idea what changed to make him finally quit, but there had been so much going on within the guild at the time - sometime amidst the attack of Phantom Lord and the Tower of Heaven, or maybe even later - it was impossible to even guess. One of the strangest parts to the re-emerging habit, however, was that Gray had never been shy about smoking indoors. Not that Natsu wasn't grateful that he was being considerate enough to keep the detested smell away from the Dragon Slayer's home, but he found it hard to believe Gray would be so thoughtful. "Hey, Happy, what did you mean by 'gone again'?" Natsu thought suddenly, looking back at the feline.

Happy frowned. "He went before. He said he was just going for a walk but I didn't believe him, and Erza had told him not to leave at all. He did come back, though."

Natsu gritted his teeth, struggling to hear anything from outside now and wondering if the same thing had happened again. "Happy, give us a minute OK?" he said, walking slowly over to the door once more.

Happy jumped up on the table, fur bristling as he looked at Natsu anxiously. "Don't let him hurt you again, OK?" he asked.

The request caught Natsu off-guard and he found himself laughing before even able to even process it. Happy looked surprisingly seriously and that expression always made him want to laugh even more. "Hey, come on, you know Ice Block can't do any serious damage to me." It took him a few moments to read the exceed's expression and for him to realise that somehow Gray _had_ done some serious damage. Feeling bitter, he turned away quickly and refused to acknowledge his defeat, continuing to open the door.

Natsu had completely forgotten that it was still dark as he stepped outside, the unnatural sleep twisting through his body clock. His eyes took a few seconds to adjust to what little light shone through the windows, resisting the urge to ignite his fists into flames to light his way. It didn't take him long to see Gray, a short distance from the doorway and sitting on some abandoned garden furniture Natsu had to admit he forgot he had. His pale face was reflected in the streaks of light but he was otherwise hidden in shadow. The scent was weaker now, the cigarette gone from his hands, but the Ice Maker had made no attempt to pull himself out of the garden chair and return inside, nor did he acknowledge he had seen Natsu step outside.

Cautiously, Natsu stepped forwards and tugged on the second chair, releasing it from the vines that had entrapped it over the years of abandonment. He didn't want to admit that it was damn cold and that he'd far prefer this conversation to be inside. Certain that Gray would simply make some snide remark about the preferring the cold and no doubt tease him for an eternity, he sat without a word of complaint. It was unusual for the fire wizard to feel any kind of cold, even in the frozen mountains, but he could feel his energy had been severely depleted. Happy may have been worrying excessively, but bit by bit it was becoming clear just how much Natsu really had suffered.

Eventually he became aware that Gray still wasn't saying anything, not even to greet him. That irritated Natsu, but then he hadn't said anything either. He didn't really want to speak, mostly he just wanted to punch him in the face, but doing so would no doubt return the blow and he was fairly certain he already had a concussion. The last thing he needed right now was to lose to Gray twice in one day. If it was even the same day. "How long as I out?" he asked.

Gray barely moved. "About seventeen hours, give or take," he said matter-of-factly.

Something about the answer made Natsu uncomfortable, knowing that his curiosity lead onwards. "And how long was I… gone?"

If Natsu didn't know better, he would have said Gray flinched. Of course, Gray wouldn't have flinched at something so trivial, and his words were so perfectly similar in tone to his previous ones that he _couldn't_ have reacted so strongly. "Happy's awake?" he asked.

Natsu nodded, pleased that Gray clearly hadn't heard his and the exceed's conversation. It wasn't that there had been anything to hide, but he didn't want the stubborn Ice Maker to think he hadn't believed his turn of events. "Yeah, he is. He told me what happened," he said, looking back to the window and wondering if he'd imagined the flash of blue disappearing as he turned. "So, it's true? What he said about what happened to me?"

"How would I know? I didn't hear what he said," Gray said, the packet slipping back into his fingers, though he didn't take out another, just tapped it against the table.

"He said that I stopped breathing, that Erza had to resuscitate me. Or Lucy or whoever it was," Natsu said, not liking the disinterested tone to the Ice Maker's voice or the way that he wouldn't even look at him when speaking. He quickly remembered the exceed telling him that Gray hadn't even been here the entire time, an anger growing inside of him. Natsu knew now that he had been seriously injured, but Gray hadn't even bothered to stay beside him and help care for his rival, even when specifically asked. Natsu wasn't just angry, he was hurt, but told himself that it was to be expected. They may have had the illusion of friendship over years of fighting by each other's side, but that didn't mean that he actually knew the first thing about him, or even that he cared about him.

"Lucy," Gray eventually confirmed with a short nod. "It was Lucy. Erza tried to, but she was doing more harm than good."

"Yeah… I can feel that…" Natsu winced, rubbing his chest awkwardly.

A flicker of a smirk could be seen through the shadows, disappearing as quickly as it appeared. "She was worried about you, you know. She said that if you're feeling up to it you need to go to the guild first thing tomorrow morning, and if you're not, send Happy to let her come here," he informed him.

Natsu grumbled something under his breath about being more than capable, though he rubbed the back of his neck and even in the darkness had a visibly exhausted glaze to his eyes. "Seventeen hours… Why the hell am I still tired…?" he muttered to himself, irritated.

"You should probably stay awake now," Gray warned him, tapping the cigarette papers against the table. "With your head injury, you shouldn't sleep too much, I don't think."

"Huh, I thought it was the other way around…" Natsu frowned, trying to pull the trivial information from the back of his aching memories.

"I… honestly don't remember…" Gray admitted, shrugging his shoulders. "But you've been asleep this long, you probably won't need much sleep for a while yet, right?"

Gray wanted him awake. Natsu tilted his head slightly to the side, wondering if he'd misinterpreted the message, and why Gray would want his company when he clearly hadn't wanted to stick around. Gray rarely wanted any company at the best of times, especially not the Fire Dragon Slayer. "Why are you here, Gray?" he asked.

"I told you, Erza's making me babysit you," Gray said, struggling to keep himself from snapping the words.

"But _why_?" Natsu pressed further, unable to shake the idea that there was more to it and that it wasn't just Erza's desires. "We beat each other all the time and never have to check up on each other. Just because you won-"

"Would you stop saying that?!" Gray's voice was finally raised, standing up swiftly. Suddenly he was no longer a shadow in the darkness, he was in the full light, his words filled with anger but his eyes filled with a crushing desperation. "I didn't _win_ , Natsu. This wasn't like every other time. Don't you realise I almost fucking killed you? You stopped breathing. We thought we'd lost you. I thought that I'd killed you," he hissed, his breathing ragged and heavy as if he had been drowned through his own ocean of torment. His fists were tight, every word strained but pouring out against his will. He turned away finally, gritting his teeth so tightly it hurt. "If you think that I _won_ then you have a seriously fucked up version of winning."

Natsu leaned back in his chair, watching Gray's wild wide eyes intently. He had never seen this kind of powerful anger from the Ice Maker before, not at least in this way. Sometimes there would be passion flooding his anger, other times irritation and frustration, but this seemed to come from something even more raw and destructive. For once, the anger didn't make him want to fight back, nor did it make him want to fight alongside him. His instincts, as confusing as they were, drew upon a protectiveness for his friend he didn't even know he had. "Uh, Gray… You know I'm alright now, don't you?" he reminded him quietly.

Gray hesitated, wrestling with the new and vivid emotion. His jawline squared as he looked away, content in once again letting himself be consumed by the shadows as he slowly sat back down. "Yeah, I know," he said, his voice broken and filled with frustration. "How are you doing, anyway?" he asked gently, trying to distract himself.

Natsu took the bait easily, knowing that while there was obviously something cracking beneath Gray's surface he couldn't draw it out so easily. "Ah, you know, how well can you expect to be after Erza's pummelled your chest?" he laughed, awkwardly scratching the bandages on the back of his head.

He heard the soft smile in Gray voice, even if he couldn't see it in the dark. "Yeah, it could have been a lot worse."

Natsu nodded knowingly. "Yeah, Happy told me that you saved me from her 'double tapping' me," he chuckled painfully, instantly regretting it and rubbing his chest. That time he was certain he had seen a flinch. "You're seriously freaked out about this, aren't you?"

Gray pinched the bridge of his nose, a heavy draw of breath warning him that he was fighting against a harsher reproach. "Natsu, I feel like shit: You've slept enough for the both of us. I'm tired, I want to go home, but right now all I want you to do is drop it."

"But why?" Natsu persisted.

"Oh, for fucks sake Natsu…" Gray put a hand on his head, trying to block off the Dragon Slayer's incessant talking.

"I'm serious," Natsu said, and he was. He had his eyes pinned on Gray, no hint of the familiar joking tone in his voice. He knew that he was pushing all Gray's buttons but he wasn't doing it to irritate him. In the few moments of breaking he had seen something twisting beneath Gray's cold exterior, something that scared him and that he couldn't bring himself to ignore. If he didn't say anything now then he never would, they'd probably go back to their normal fights and the exact same thing could happen again with more than disastrous consequences. "We've fucked up before. I'm sure I've had worse, or damn close. And sometimes fucking up gets people killed, good people," he said with a frown.

Quickly realising that Natsu wasn't going to stop talking until he had said his piece, Gray eventually asked "What's your point?"

"My point is that it's hard enough when you really fuck up," he continued, not exactly sure how much sense he was making or even if he himself understood the point that he was trying to make. "The last thing that you need is to be beating yourself up over something that never happened."

"Natsu-" Gray began to hiss, his words quickly cut off.

"It didn't happen," Natsu insisted, seeing the words before Gray could say them. "I told you I'm alright, you can see that, right?"

Gray hesitated for what seemed an age, the darkness somehow seeming thicker through his silence. Natsu tried desperately to read his expressions, to see him through the shadows that he had cast over himself and the hardened façade he had crafted over the years, but it wasn't something he could use his heightened senses to pinpoint. Eventually, Gray spoke, his voice once again calm and monotonous. "I know that."

Natsu sighed, realising that Gray had thrown up his walls just as quickly as they had crumbled down. Even the childhood friend clearly wasn't close enough to break through them and be trusted with the damage inside, which he wouldn't have minded as much if he didn't have the distinct feeling that no one else could either. "You can go home, if you want. I'll tell Erza you stuck around all night, make sure Happy won't say anything either," he shrugged, feeling defeated by the cold wizard yet again.

Gray looked at him carefully, as if checking for some kind of trick. "You couldn't convince Happy…" he said slowly.

"I can convince Happy of anything with enough fish," Natsu shrugged, knowing that it was a little more complicated than that. More than once now he had seen a vague flicker of bright blue across the window panes and had no doubt that the exceed was doing his best to overhear their conversation, though he knew it would be out of concern more than for the sake of gossip. Happy may have been simple in many respects, but he understood friendship more than anyone Natsu knew, and Natsu was without a doubt that Happy wouldn't say a word if Gray chose to leave, fish or no fish. "You're right, you look like shit, more so than usual. You want to go home and sleep this off, I'm OK with that."

Gray hesitated once again, and looked away. "There might be someone who sees me. Or Erza herself."

Natsu rolled his eyes, now feeling like Gray was just being paranoid. He could sink into the shadows almost as skilfully as Rogue, and Natsu had no idea why he would be suddenly panicking about a one-in-a-million chance encounter. Especially when this hadn't been the first time that he'd left. "Did she catch you last time?" he asked.

Gray lifted an eyebrow. "Last time?"

"Yeah, Happy said something about you sneaking off earlier," Natsu said, only now once again realising how cold it was and wishing the Ice Maker could make up his mind so he could go back inside. He took in a sharp breath through his teeth, hoping that his fire magic would gain more strength soon and keep his internal furnace blazing.

"Happy seems to have said a lot," Gray commented, the frown heard in his voice.

Natsu shrugged his shoulders, guessing that Gray meant the words as an insult, but the Dragon Slayer could never see talking as a bad thing. "He seemed to be under the impression that you weren't gonna come back, you know," he warned him.

"I wasn't."

"Huh?" he said before thinking. With all the hesitations and silences, Natsu had been thrown back by just how quickly Gray had spoken the two simple yet powerful words. He had expected, or at least hoped, that the Ice Maker would be able to throw off the allegations, potentially showing either the defensive passion or perhaps a disbelieving laugh. He had never expected for Happy to actually be right and especially not for Gray to have admitted it so easily when he had been so quick to shy away from his conflicting emotions. Natsu watched with wide eyes, forcing himself into a more rational line of questioning when he realised Gray had turned back to silence. "What do you mean? You weren't coming back? Erza would have killed you."

"She wouldn't have found me," Gray whispered, tapping the packet against the table to distract him from his own words. There was more truth to them than he had spoken in a very long time, possibly in the entire time that he had been in Fairy Tail. His eyes glazed, unable to focus too hard on his audience or else lose his resolve. "I didn't think that I'd want to come back at all. There have been a lot of people who have been hurt and killed because of my actions, more than you can even realise. If I'd have responsible for your death, you would have just been a part of a growing list," he said, his words just as monotonous as before but somehow now filled with pain, bringing to light how painstakingly devoid of emotion they had been before.

Natsu found himself leaning forwards, eyes wide as the truth began to slowly sink in. Through all the pain he felt from his injuries and pride, all the twisted emotions he had felt in seeing how close he had come to death, he would wake tomorrow and laugh. Meanwhile, Gray had been standing on the edge of hell and looking down into an impossible chasm below. Natsu just felt guilty, seeing the strange emotions that he hadn't even known Gray was capable of. This was a haunting feeling that the Ice Maker had carried with him for many years, not a result of the unfortunate friendly fire, just made so much worse by it. "But it _didn't happen_ ," Natsu reminded him.

"I know," Gray swallowed. Even consumed in shadow Natsu could see him tremble, wondering for a moment if perhaps the Ice Maker felt as cold as he did. Usually he would laugh at the very idea, but for once he didn't feel much like laughing, nor did he even feel like punching his friend. This was a fleeting moment, they both knew that this would disappear as quickly as it had arrived, but while Natsu was finally convinced that Gray was not a victor it was clear that both sides felt defeated.

"And so what if it had?" Natsu had to ask, realising quickly that these were not the words that Gray wanted to hear, but Natsu wasn't good at holding back at anything, especially not talking. "That's what the guild is here for, right? You would not be the first, or the last. You remember Elfman, right? With Lisanna…" he said, his words catching more than he had expected. He had intended to steamroll straight through this conversation, to blink through the memories that he had convinced himself had healed now that everything was repaired and Lisanna was back from the 'dead', but he could feel an uncomfortable cold growing, offering his burning lungs little comfort. It made everything feel more raw, bringing emotions to the surface that should not have existed, and suddenly he was talking more to himself than to the tortured wizard before him. "We all helped him out, every one of us was there no matter how much it hurt, no matter how much we wanted someone to blame. Because we believed in him, because that's what we do.

"So yeah, I'm pissed off," he admitted, realising the words as he said them, frowning as they fell out of his mouth and started to put together some of the confusing emotions inside of him. "I'm pissed off you left. I might not have realised it at the time, but I needed you. And if something happened, Erza fucking needed you. Lucy, Happy, everyone! Fairy Tail would have needed you, so how fucking dare you even think about leaving that behind?!"

It was silent for the longest time, only the heavy, painful breathing of the Dragon Slayer flooding his ears. His heart was beating agonisingly against his chest, putting pressure on every single one of his cracked ribs. He was shaking, the cold having quickly dissipated as the familiar fire magic once more flooded through his veins. The tangled vines weaved through his chair were curling into black ash beneath his overwhelming heat, the green paint cracking as the metal beneath turned red. The cold air did nothing to cool his anger, glaring back at his own reflection through the Ice Maker's eyes. He didn't even want to hit him anymore. That was something he did with his friend.

Eventually, Gray looked down. The impassive glaze in his eyes didn't drop completely, not the way that it had when he had been filled with the unusual anger, but it was cracking. "Why do you think I came back, dumbass?"

Natsu blinked, his rage suddenly stopped by his surprise.

Gray gave a heavy sigh, pushing back his hair from his sweaty forehead. "You know Fairy Tail isn't just my guild, it's my family. But before there was Fairy Tail, there was Isvan. I could have stayed there, there would have been ways, even when Ur…" he took in a heavy breath, choosing not to finish the obvious yet painful sentence, "but instead, I ran almost as far West as I could. I wanted to follow her advice when she said that there were stronger wizards in the West, but mostly I just wanted to get the hell out of there. But part of me thought that I was cursed, that maybe if there are gods of death and life then one of them must be laughing at me and doing their very best at fucking over everyone I care about," he murmured, gripping his necklace suddenly tightly, "Because every time I find someone I consider a part of my family, I kill them.

"I know that sounds ridiculous," he said, quickly cutting off the Dragon Slayer's words. "But I wanted to leave to protect my guild, because Fairy Tail is my family," he said, the burning determination resting in his eyes that he knew Natsu would have no choice but to understand. His hand unclenched slowly, his eyes softening briefly as he went on to admit his defeat. "But I know I can do a lot more to protect you guys if I'm here than if I'm not, and you're not going to give up on me just because I left. And I couldn't give up on Fairy Tail."

Finally, Natsu had a smile back on his face. It hadn't been there for almost all their conversation, but now he was once more feeling the comforting hope that he clung to. There was damage deep beneath his friend's layers of darkness and cold, but then there was light, the kind that only Fairy Tail could offer. As Natsu looked back at Gray he could see the flicker of a smile across his face too, the feeling of their guild's passion warming even the Ice Maker's veins. There was something even more comforting about knowing that it had been for the guild, not for each other, even if it should have been the other way around. "No, you really couldn't," Natsu said eventually, his smile turning into a beaming grin. Part of Natsu had wanted him to have returned just so that he could be by his friend's side while hurt, but the guild meant so much more to them both, so much so that it was enough to make even their fragile relationship stand the test of time. It was an easier concept for them to understand, shielding from the dangerously true feelings and replacing them with honour and pride. "But I'm serious, you still look like shit. If you won't go home, will you at least take the sofa?" he asked suddenly.

Gray shook his head in disbelief, amazed at how quickly Natsu had taken his sentiment and turned back to petty insults. "You actually have a sofa somewhere in there?" Gray teased, gladly throwing one back.

"OK, yeah, whatever, maybe the place is a _little_ messy," Natsu admitted with a frown. Gray may have been joking – and he couldn't hide how elated he was that Gray could joke right now - but he did at least have a point. It would probably take hours and far more energy than either of them had just to prepare the sofa enough to not break his back. "Look, you're right, I'm not gonna sleep for the next couple of hours anyway. I'm sure Happy wants to catch up and convince himself I'm not gonna suddenly collapse. You can take my bed. Get some sleep, OK?"

Gray looked at him dubiously, finally standing and ready to make his way back inside, even if he wasn't convinced on the offer. "You're sure?" he asked.

"Yeah, seriously, it's fine," he said, feeling far less than fine, but grinning widely all the same. He knew he'd probably fall asleep talking to Happy, but at least he could fall asleep sitting in the chair and Gray could finally convince himself to get the recuperation that he clearly needed. It would be the only way to force the Ice Maker not to keep an eye on his injured friend until day break, and there was also the added bonus that the quicker that Gray was out of his sight, the quicker Natsu didn't have to worry about him either. "Hey, Gray, are you-"

Hearing the tone of his voice, Gray quickly stopped, a hissing breath pulling through his teeth. "Natsu, I appreciate everything, but please can you just forget this ever happened?" he asked, slightly less annoyed than the last few times that he'd requested for Natsu to leave the subject, sounding more in disbelief at his persistence.

Natsu paused, not entirely certain how Gray had known what he was going to ask when he hadn't even really known himself. He had just wanted one last confirmation, one last assurance that Gray had fully intended to stay. Natsu wasn't like Gray and didn't understand his thought patterns. He didn't like to think about what might have been or what should have been and he had always been very open with the emotions he was feeling as he was feeling them. Gray had darkness, everyone knew that, and while it seemed tightly sealed away, that didn't mean it wasn't waiting, ready for him to crack. Even Natsu wasn't completely oblivious to its self-destructive power, but he didn't like to think about it. In fact, forgetting about it sounded damn good right about now. He grinned widely from ear-to-ear, unable to hide to look of relief that was washing over him. "Sure thing," he said. "Just promise not to go easy on me next time, OK?"

Gray smiled back, not the awkward smirks of the evening or the deceptive attempts to forget, but a thankfulness that reached his eyes and, for once, the joy of being with his company. "Like I'd let some flame brain beat me," he agreed, the gleam in his eyes he always had just before hitting his favourite sparring partner. He was obviously holding back only for the sake of his wounds, but there was still the lingering promise of more to come.

* * *

 **From this, the title of this story didn't actually make that much sense anymore since Gray never actually apologises. So now it has been renamed haha  
**

 **I think this borders more into my headcanon than canon, but meh. Also, for followers, this is set in the same world as S-Class, for reasons which you might see when I finally get around to posting the next chapter.**

 **Anywho, hope you enjoyed it! Please review/pm if you did :)**


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